amberlydahling

One of the things that I have always loved about myself is that I've never been afraid to dream. Although with my rock bottom self-confidence level, I do have a problem going out and trying to actually reach those dreams. That's something I'm working really hard on though. I guess the main reason I'm writing this is so that I always have something to look back on when I'm down; something to remind me of what exactly I want out of my life, so that I'll never stop fighting to achieve my dreams. The most important part of my dreams is that I get out of this hell-hole I call home. I have a father that I prefer never to see, and the woman who gave birth to me.... Well let's just say the only thing we refer to her as is "The Mother." There's not a doubt in my mind that once I finally get out of this place I won't ever talk to either of them again. In fact, the only people in my family I probably will talk to is my brother, sister-in-law, and my little sister. They're the only ones in my family I can stand.



After graduation in 2010, when I'm finally free, I'm packing up and heading out to Cali. I'm going to live in an old Victorian house like the one in Charmed. The thing I always found weird about that show was that they lived in San Fran, but that house is actually located in LA. I've always loved old Victorian houses, but then again, I love anything Victorian. My goal is to live in either Los Angeles or Hollywood, and start my own clothing line. Designing is my passion, it's basically what I live for. I've already started to brainstorm names for my company, but I haven't decided on anything yet. I still need to make up a logo for it.

The main thing I want out of my future is to actually live it. I've been kept secluded and seperated my entire childhood, and I hate it. I just want to go out there and let loose, be myself. Everyone should at least have a chance to make their own mistakes and learn from them. Unfortunately, I've never been given that option. As crazy as it sounds, I want to go out and dance all night, get drunk off my ass just for the hell of it, make friends with someone who will turn around and stab me in the back, go hungry because I'm still waiting for my big break, walk around in the most wacky clothes simply because I like them. To most people these probably sound like horrible things to go through, but I'd love to have all of those things happen to me, just because it was my choice; and the consequences are all mine.

I've probably rambled enough, but this is what I want out of my life, these are my dreams. They're basically the only reason I get up every morning and put up with all the shit at home. If it weren't for these dreams, I would have ended it long ago. All I have to remember is that in two years, I'm finally free. I'm about to go make a poll with name ideas for my clothing line, I'd appreciate it if you dropped by and gave me your opinion.

xoxo